The evening sun was bouncing off the old terrace houses that lined either side of the street and had recently been renovated and painted in a luscious yellow. It was a beautiful day as I walked down Smith Street while making mental notes of what I needed to get at the supermarket. I was starving; lunch had been a medium skinny latte, a bruised banana and a few rollies, quite a few. Hmmm, I also needed more tobacco!
The image of a huge plate of salad was forming in my head, with lots of tomato, sweet corn, avocado and a small can of spicy onion tuna, when a guy in a dark suit with his tie undone knocked me aside rather abruptly. He was almost running as if the Collingwood Mafia had put a reward on his head. If I hadn’t been so startled and feeling dizzy with an empty stomach I would have shouted something after him. I decided, however, I wouldn’t let anyone spoil my mood today because I had reason enough to be happy and content and proud of myself. I had left it to the last minute as usual but I had managed to hand in all my work on time, which meant that my semester was officially over. I put my smile back on, turned around again and let myself drift back into food hunter mode. I stumbled on towards the food source but then my eye caught sight of a red towel lying on the sidewalk. I looked around and saw that the front door of one of the cute little terrace houses was wide open. I didn’t know what to do, so I just picked up the towel, hung it on a tree branch and obeyed the demands of my tummy to go and get some food.
When I finally entered Safeway I headed straight to the fruit&veggie corner where they also had boxes full of different nuts that always eased my hunger when I went shopping. I just had to make sure that none of the security guards could see me before I got a handful of salted cashew nuts to stuff them into the hungry depth of my gullet. Much better, I thought and went down to shopping business.
While I pondered the aisles picking out yogurt and tuna and milk and ground coffee, my mind wouldn’t stop wondering what this whole scene on the street just before had been about. The man, the towel, the open door… Curiosity was one of my weaknesses, a constant source of trouble when I was a kid, so I quickened my pace and made my way to the nearest check out point, leaving a few things behind that I could get the day after.
I snatched the towel from the little tree, surprised that it was still there, and investigated if the front door of the next house was still open. And surely enough it was. I looked around once again and eventually scraped together enough courage to go inside.
I carefully placed each step, knocked on the door frame a couple of times and tentatively called out if anyone was there. If there had been they wouldn’t have heard me but I was too afraid I might actually get an answer.
The house was very tidy and nicely furnished with light coloured wooden desks and cupboards and tables and chairs. I felt like a burglar sneaking around like that but it was exhilarating to be in someone else’s house. If the police came I could always tell them about that man and the open front door. I was sure that was enough reason to be worried and check if everything was all right. Yes.
I recorded little details in my head as if I was preparing to testify as a witness in a murder case. Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea after all. What if it actually was a murder scene I had entered. I didn’t want to be the one who found the mutilated corpse of some unlucky creature. That thought made me turn on my heel, when I heard a faint sound of someone sobbing. It must have come from upstairs. My first impulse was to go up there, the second was to run and the last left me all confused. I climbed the stairs anyway having been beaten by my all-encompassing desire to know what was going on.
By the time I had reached the last step my heart was pounding like the engine of a semi-trailer. Maybe I should exercise more. Maybe not.
I took a few deep breaths and continued down the aisle towards the sounds I had heard downstairs, concentrating on every sound and movement. The door of the room was open so I could see her straight away. Naked and curled up like a foetus, she laid on a huge king size bed, forlorn and entangled by the bed sheets. She seemed so small and vulnerable, somehow lost as if the mattress would swallow her any minute.
to be continued...
How I Beat Bulimia, One Therapist At A Time
vor 10 Jahren
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